This Isn't Goodbye
by TyrantOfSlytherin
Summary: Set after the argument between Snape and Lily, will she always be angry or will the feelings return? Deathly Hallows spoilers
1. Chapter 1

As Severus Snape boarded the Hogwarts Express for another year of schooling, he heaved a great sigh and adjusted his rucksack. He felt rather worn; he quickly walked along the corridors of the train, trying to find an empty spot.

At long last, he finally found a deserted seat towards the back. He opened the door and slowly shut it after he had entered. He placed his bag on the spot next to him and sat down quietly.

He was quite glad to finally be leaving home, for the arguments with his parents were becoming rather tiring. Blood red welts lay across his arms, which he had covered with his many robes to avoid them being seen. He was already tortured enough by that git Potter and his cronies. Severus pulled out a small piece of parchment from his pocket and began to read.

_Sev,_

_I'm sad to say that I won't be able to ride the Hogwarts Express with you this year; however, I'll see you first thing when you arrive at school. I have missed you this summer, hope all is well!_

_Yours,_

_Lily Evans_

Severus felt a few butterflies fly in his stomach, and a small smile fell upon his lips before remembering the incident that had occurred the year previously. He had called his very best friend, the love of his life, a _Mudblood_.

The words on the bit of parchment were faded; for he kept it folded inside his pocket and read it quiet often. He had so suddenly missed the days that he and Lily would talk for hours, despite him being a Slytherin, and she a Gryffindor. They often sat underneath a great tree on the grounds of Hogwarts, and spoke of classes, friendship, and life in general.

His daydream came to an abrupt halt when he heard the door to his compartment swing open. Severus looked up, his greasy black hair falling in his face, to see James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter standing there, all wearing mischievous grins on their faces. He gave a small snort and leaned over and saw that behind Remus, stood his love, Lily Evans. His eyes shot wide and he turned his head quickly and stood, facing James.

"Hello there, Snivelly, thought we'd pay you a nice visit," James said with a rude smirk spread on his face.

"How nice of you Potter," Severus spat, taking one step forward to him and reaching for his wand in his side pocket, "But I'd rather pay a visit to some Blast Ended Skrewts."

James gave a laugh and nudged Sirius, "Can you believe him? Thinking he's funny." Potter stepped up in Severus' face, giving him a jab in shoulder with his finger.

Severus stepped back a bit, his insides fuming with anger.

"Can we just go?" A quiet voice asked.

Severus turned his head slightly to see that Lily had spoken. When his eyes met hers, he looked away rather quickly.

James turned to look at her, and smiled, "Just a moment, Lily, I think we need to teach Snivellus here a lesson on how to respect his superiors."

Severus pulled out his wand, but before he could say anything, he was dangling in mid air by his feet.

The four boys cackled with laughter, each of them nudging each other and howling.

"Look at that, Snivelly has marks on his arms! Getting a bit angry at yourself, have you?" Sirius taunted as James continued to laugh rather obnoxiously.

"Shows him right, messing with Evans," James scowled, and he waved his wand and Severus flopped around in mid-air.

"LET ME DOWN!" Severus screeched, and as he threw out his arm to try and grab at his enemy, but failed desperately.

"As you wish," James said with a grin on his face. With another flick of his wand, Severus fell with a rather loud thump onto the floor, his robes covering his head.

"Can we go now?" Lily asked, rather nervously, her eyes keeping away from the mess of a boy that was scrambling to his feet.

"Of course," James said proudly, walking towards her, with a bit of a strut. "I think Snivelly has learned his lesson… For now."

Severus looked over as he picked up his wand to see James grabbing Lily's hand and walking off loudly. His heart sank as he watched them walk away. A fume of anger dwelled deep inside the pit of his stomach and he slammed the compartment door shut.

He sank down into the corner of the seat and pulled up his sleeves. The marks, they had seen the marks and taunted him about it, and he wondered if Lily had seen also. He shoved down his sleeves and looked out the window, expecting that they would be arriving soon.

As the train came to a slow stop, Severus stood slowly and opened the door to see the rest of the students flooding out. It was finally time to begin another year at Hogwarts.

Not much later, they had arrived at the castle. His surroundings in the Great Hall were the same as ever. Hundreds of new students filed in as he took his place at the Slytherin table. He gave a quick glance to the Gryffindor table and saw Lily giggling as James tried tickling her. Severus looked away, and instead glanced at the many First Year students who were walking nervously to the front of the hall, on their way to be sorted into their houses.

After the sorting and the feast was over with, Severus made his way down to the dungeons into the Slytherin Common room, inside he met Lucius Malfoy, who was sitting on one of the sofas with his girlfriend, Narcissa.

"Ello, Snape," Lucius said with a small smirk forming on his lips as Severus took a seat across from him.

Severus nodded, "Good evening, you and Narcissa well again, I'm assuming?"

"Of course," Lucius said proudly, stretching an arm around her neck as she leaned her head against his chest gently. "Much business these days though, it has been interrupting my usual schedule."

"Much business?" Severus inquired, setting down his newly bought school books on the spot next to him, "Such as?"

Lucius smirked once more, a small laugh passing his lips and released him from Narcissa and leaned in slowly, "Lord Voldemort has rose once again, and of course, being the type of wizard that I am, I have decided to follow, of course. I would have expected _you_ to do the same."

"I…" Snape started, but he stopped, "Have you gotten the mark?" 

Lucius only smirked, placing a hand on his forearm, "In time, Snape, in time, but not until I am of age. So, I've noticed you and that mudblood are no longer friends, I'm very surprised. Never thought you'd have the guts to teach her the lesson she deserved."

Severus clenched his fist and his knuckles whitened, but he simply nodded before gathering his things and standing, "Well I suppose I'm going to head off to bed, even though it's a bit early."

He quickly left the common room and went into the boys dormitory. Once in his pajamas and tucked safely into his bed, he took one last look at the letter Lily had sent him the year previously, and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Severus awoke in the morning, as he heard a few others in the room talking rather loudly. He rolled over out of bed and slipped on his robes, quickly running down to the Great Hall for breakfast. When he arrived at the Slytherin table, he sat down next to Narcissa and looked around.

"Where's Lucius?" He asked, taking a bite of one of the eggs that appeared in front of him, "He is usually here at this time."

"Been busy, doing God knows what," She said rather irritably, reading her copy of the _Daily Prophet. _"Nothing but rubbish in here, I'm surprised the bloody owl still delivers it to me."

She gave a nasty look to an owl that was cleaning its feather towards the end of the table.

Severus snorted; Narcissa had a short-temper that kept him entertained, especially when she hexed James Potter a few years back. As he remembered Potter, his eyes lingered over to the Gryffindor table, where he saw Potter no where in sight. But when he glimpsed a red-headed girl leaving the room, his heart skipped a beat.

"What's wrong with you?" A voice snapped as they threw their books down on the table. It was Avery, looking rather disgusted and tired as he sat down.

Severus shook his head and looked down at his plate, his hair hanging in his face. "I-I think I need to be going, I've forgotten about something." He got up quickly and ran across the room, throwing open the door and looking around for a red-headed figure. He saw Lily going up in the next corridor and ran after as fast as he could, a sharp pain hitting him in his side. He didn't know exactly what he was doing, or why he was running after her, but something inside him told it was right.

After a few moments she disappeared and he looked around, loosing all hope. He slammed his fist into the wall and let out a groan of frustration.

Peeves flew over head, cackling loudly, "Snivelly, Snivelly, how do you do?" The ghost began throwing pieces of what seemed like gravel at his head.

"Quit it," Severus snarled, pulling out his wand as the ghost cackled some more and flew through the next wall. Sev leaned up against the wall and rested on it, feeling tired and exhausted. He turned his head, hoping maybe Lily would come over and greet him, but he heard nothing except for talking and laughter a few corridors below.

And out of nowhere, came James Potter down the hallway with Sirius Black.

"And then he was standing in front of _everyone_ in his skivvies!" James said loudly, as Sirius let out a howl of laughter. They were both laughing but stopped suddenly when James felt a wand thrust into the side of his throat.

"Shut your face, Potter," Severus growled in a quiet tone, "Nobody wants to hear your stupid voice this early in the morning.

Sirius opened to say something but Snape turned his wand on him and yelled, rather loudly, "Petrificus Totalus!" and Black's body locked up, falling into a heap on the floor.

"Now I've got you by yourself, with none of your little friends to help," Severus said in James ear, shoving his wand in the side of his neck even more.

James let out a small laugh, "Wow, Snivellus, when did you become so physical?"

Next thing Severus knew, there was a sharp pain in his left eye.

Potter had punched him in the face.

"Why you foul little-" Severus was cut off by a girl yelling fiercely from behind.

They both turned around to see Lily holding her wand up at both of them, a look of fury in her beautiful green eyes. "Both of you quit it, and I saw what you've done James, you little cockroach!"

She waved her wand and James went flying backward, unconscious.

Severus opened his mouth in sheer shock, wanting to thank her, but she turned on him as well, "What do you think your doing up here? Trying to find some more muggle-borns to torture?"

"No I…" he stopped. She was still angry with him, despite hexing her own boyfriend. "I… Lily, please listen, I didn't mean…"

She shook her head and took a step closer to him, lowering her just a little but lowered it fully when she realized Snape wasn't going to do anything to her. She seemed to look more beautiful than ever, her features growing more mature as she aged.

"Lily, it's been so long…" Severus started.

"Don't start up on that," she snapped. "Look, I'm just doing you a favor. I mean…" she stopped for a moment, looked down at her shoes then returned her gaze into his black eyes. "I just wish you were still my friend."

Severus looked away from her in shame, "I'm sorry. I've betrayed you… I don't deserve…"

She cut him off once more, "No. Its fine, I suppose I could give you another chance. Why don't we go out to the grounds, for old time's sake?"

He raised his eyebrows, looking at her, shocked, and spoke, "Say wha--? Are you asking me to come with you?"

Lily smiled a little, "Of course, silly."

"But I… we don't… You're still…"

She took his hand and laughed, Severus felt nervous.

"I- I can't. Maybe another time?"

Lily looked at him in disbelief. She thought for sure that he would've wanted to go with her, but she slightly suspected he would not. "I guess, I mean, see you later?"

He nodded, and turned around, stepping over Potter and Black as he walked. Severus looked behind him at Lily before continuing.

Later that day, he headed off to the Quidditch pitch with a few other Slytherins to watch the Slytherins practice. The actual match would be the following day, against Gryffindor. As he took a seat in the stands, the Slytherin captain called up at him, "HEY SNAPE!"

He looked down, wondering what he wanted. He gave him a look of question.

"Care to take the spot of keeper? Malfoy's out sick!"

Severus' eyes opened wide. He walked down nervously to the pitch and walked up to the captain. "Why me? I… I've never played Quidditch."

"You'll be fine. Here, take this broom," he handed over a spare broom and Snape mounted it.

He flew off into the sky towards the goal posts and stopped when he reached them. He looked down at his fellow Slytherins, and swallowed. He had never tried this before, but all knew was that he had to stop the quaffle if it came near him.

_Easy enough, _he thought to himself.

One of the players came sprinting toward him quickly and Severus' eyes widened. He thought the quaffle went to the left but his team mate sprang back and threw it right in the middle. He slipped off the side of his broom and almost fell, but swung back on.

There was a roar of laughter from some of them, and he felt his cheeks turn hot. Severus shook his head and flew back to the middle post, looking determined, his hands sweating as he gripped the broom.

Out of nowhere, he had seen a boy in red robes come flying from the distance, a long with a few others.

"Potter?!" Severus screamed loudly, "What are you d-"

But before he could say anything else there was a sharp pain that came to his side and he felt him self falling further and further down. And the next thing he knew, he opened his eyes and saw Lily Evans at his bedside.

"W-what the hell happened?" Snape said, sitting up right and howling at the pain in his side.

Lily looked worried, and tired.

"It was Potter, wasn't it? If I see him again I swear…"

"Actually it was Black, I guess he was a little angry because of earlier," Lily replied. "Your ribs should be mended soon, and after, would you like to take a walk?"

Severus felt his stomach do back flips.

"Yes," he said louder than he would've liked.

After about an hour or so, he was released from the hospital wing and walking slowly with the love of his life. The time they spent together was pure bliss, he couldn't ask for anything better. It was as if anything else in the world did not matter, and all was well. If the world were to end now, he would have died happy. As they walked he examined the hall ways, full of old memories of when they were younger, and didn't care what others thought. Now, people would give them dodgy looks and they would feel their stomachs churn and their faces turn red.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Lily said, looking around at all of the portraits, "Old, but beautiful. Ancient, and historic, I love it."

Severus nodded, he agreed. They both came to stop and he realized they were standing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. "I… I can't go in there!"

Lily laughed, "Of course you can! I'll bring you in if I'd like, plus everyone is off in the grounds."

She said the password and they both walked in. She was right, there was no one in the common room, and she lead the way up to the girl's dormitories. The place was much different than the common room in the dungeons, much brighter and happier.

"It's a bit depressing, staying down in the dungeons all the time, isn't it?" She asked.

He shrugged; he was so used to it that it didn't even really matter to him anymore. Dark and mysterious expressed his moods as of late, and he really did not care. "I suppose, I kind of like it in here though. Not too shabby."

She smiled, sitting down on her bed, offering him a seat next to her. He sat quietly and looked her right in the eyes and gave a small smile back at her.

"I've missed you," he mumbled, clearing his throat afterward and straightening his tie nervously, "I mean. I've missed you a lot," he said more clearly this time.

Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink, and at that exact moment Severus found himself wanting to kiss her, hold her, like he's always dreamed. But he never had the courage.

"I've missed you too. After what happened, I felt like a part of my life had disappeared..." She looked him straight in the eye.

"I… I don't know what to say. I feel great remorse from what I've said to you, no words could explain the apologies I would like to give you," he said. She could tell he was not lying. Lily knew him too well and this is why she forgave him so easily.

"I know," she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into an embrace, her head lowering to rest upon his chest.

Slowly, Severus wrapped his arms around her in return and gave her a short rub on her back.

They stayed there for quite some time, he did not know if it was for an hour, or even one minute. However long it was, it did not seem to last long enough when she pulled away abruptly.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

She shook her head, "I… I don't know."

Severus looked down immediately; the marks on his arms were showing. He covered them quickly, his heart beat going ten times faster. "It's nothing, I swear."

"I don't believe you," she retorted.

"Of course you don't," he said, scoffing slightly.

She looked as if she was about to start bawling. "Oh, Severus!" she cried, flinging herself onto him, pulling him into another tight embrace.

Her hand reached down slowly to stroke the marks on his arm, and he pulled away from her slightly, enough to look her straight in the face, only inches away from his own.

"Don't touch them," Severus said softly. She could feel the breath from his voice against her cheek. A shiver went down her spine.

She looked away from the mark, a tear falling quite close to it. Her nose almost brushed against his crooked one, and she turned away, more tears falling.

"Lily-" he did not know what to say. He pulled her into another hug and leaned against the bed post as she cried softly. "Lily, there's no reason to cry."

"Who did this to you?" She asked, through tears.

He shook his head, looking out of the window where he could see the clouds quite clearly. Severus cleared his throat, "I will tell you another time. But for now, please forget what you've seen. Spend time with me, for Merlin knows how much longer we have together, with all that we have wasted."

She nodded. She knew that he was right. They had wasted too much time, and with the way life goes, nobody knew how much longer they might have. She rested her head on his chest and spread herself out on the bed. She looked up into his eyes, the emerald gleaming in the evening horizon that shone through the window.

Severus looked down, wanting now more than ever to kiss her. Instinctively, he leaned his head down, brushing his lips against hers, and they paused. He looked at her for only a moment and kissed her, his eyes closing gently.

The boy felt her hand come up to touch his cheek as they kissed, and she opened her mouth slightly to allow his tongue to gain access. He did so, twirling hers with his own, letting his hand wander down from his side to her chest, right above her bosom.

"Severus," she gasped, allowing him to lie next to her, their bodies pressing together as they entwined and snogged.

He moved his arm from her chest to rest over her waist and wrapped his leg over hers and continued to kiss her with all the passion he had kept inside for so many years. Severus felt proud of himself; she seemed to be enjoying it as much as he was. His only hope was that she was feeling the same way about it.

She leaned closer in, hungry for his kiss as they continued, her grasp tightened on his robes by his shoulder. He moved away from her mouth, kissing her neck and sucking gently. She let out a quiet moan at this and Severus felt his body go stiff. He looked to see if he had left a mark and sure enough there was.

He smirked to himself knowing Lily did not see, for she began to kiss along his jaw, and returned to his mouth and pulled him down with her, as her hand grazed over his belt buckle and went up his shirt and moved forward to feel his bare chest.

Severus let out a gasp, loosing all control as his hands wandered aimlessly to feel at her chest. She did not seem to mind for she began to run her hand across his nipples before moving to his belt buckle, undoing it slowly.

He did not deny, for anything Lily gave him was a sign of his trust, his love for her. He laid back as she undid his zipper, pulling down his pants. She looked at him with a smirk and continued.

Severus' breathing became heavy as he laid back and let Lily do as she pleased. His hand clenched at the sheets as she lowered her head, pulling his boxers, along with his pants, down to his ankles with her teeth.

His lower half was exposed now, and knowing that Lily was looking right at him made his heart pound fast. A small trace of sweat slid down the side of his face as she smiled up at him and began to lick at the top of his manhood.

Running his free hand through his black hair, he groaned, his hips bucking forward slightly. "Lily," he panted out.

She continued, taking all of him into her mouth and sucking gently, and eventually, more quickly. He kept instinctively bucking his hips, her head jerking slightly as he went to reach for her beautiful soft hair…

"Lily…" he gasped out once more. She continued, licking and sucking, and fondling his balls as he groaned loudly. The pleasure was amazing, but he did not wish to continue.

"LILY!" he cried.

She looked up, startled, "Severus, what's wrong?" She moved up and looked him in the eye, wiping the sweat off his forehead and kissing it afterwards.

"I can't," he said in a feeble voice, "I don't…" he took a deep breath, "I don't want to take your beautiful innocence from you."

"Oh," she let out a heavy sigh and kissed him gently, "your not. Severus, I've missed you-"

He cut her off, "You've missed me, but you don't love me. This is nothing but a fling for you."

Feeling taken aback, her face twisted into an angry look, "Severus! You've been my best friend for ages, I've come to realize how much I miss you, how much I love-"

"How much you love me?" he snarled, "You don't love me, you love Potter." What was he doing? He had waited so long for this moment to come, and he was ruining everything. But he did not let up.

"I'm just a second resort to you, Potter is your boyfriend," he snapped at her. He felt a bit guilty afterward.

Lily tried to remain calm, "Listen to me. Severus, I…" she couldn't seem to figure out what she was trying to say. "I love you."

He stopped. She had said it full on, and laid it out on the table. The full three words right in his face. He could not deny it.

"Are y-you telling the t-truth?" he stuttered, looking into her what seemed beautiful eyes, once more.

Lily nodded. She was not a liar, and he knew it. "I love you, Severus."

He felt his insides twist up into balls and knots and he couldn't seem to spit it out, "I love you too."

She pulled him into another deep kiss. And he pulled away and looked at her, his hand rested on the side of her neck. "I suppose I should go…"

He wiped his hair out of his eyes and pulled up his pants and buckled his belt. He stood and pulled her into another tight hug before letting go, and heading out of the common room.


	3. Chapter 3

[3 chapters already, I'm on a roll! I know there's a few mistakes but I'm going to learn from them, please read and review, thanks

Severus spent the next few weeks studying for all of his classes, and learning more advanced spells. He often went to the library to sit and look out of the window while occasionally flipping through some useless books about the Dark Arts. The thought of becoming a Death Eater had not struck him as interesting until as of late. If he were a Death Eater, he could become high in power. If he became a Death Eater, nobody would mess around or tease him ever again.

Then he thought of Lily. Her beautiful eyes, hair, and kiss, everything about her was amazing. He knew she would never accept him for who he truly was or who he may become. He shook his head and the tried to forget about it. There were many other more important things to start worrying about instead of girls.

The bell started to ring and he decided to head off for Defense against the Dark Arts. The class fascinated him, although James and Sirius being in the same class defeated the purpose.

Later that night when he headed for bed, Lily flooded into his mind again. He had almost made love to her in the Gryffindor girls dormitory. He had almost taken her innocence right out of her soft, precious hands… the hands that had once held James Potters.

Severus turned over on his side, throwing more of his blanket over him. He was almost too tall for his own bed, which annoyed him immensely. He closed his eyes, and soon drifted off to sleep…

Meanwhile, up in Gryffindor tower, Lily Evans sat in the common room reading a copy of her Potions book. She was rather gifted at them, and enjoyed it fairly well. She looked up when she heard the portrait open and saw James Potter coming in angrily.

"You!" he barked, coming up to her.

She stood up quickly, and defensively, "Don't talk to me like that, _Potter_."

He scoffed holding his head high, "Your friend, the one with the long blonde hair…"

"She has a name," Lily retorted, taking a step further to look the taller boy straight in the eye.

James nodded, "Yes, yes, well that's not the point now is it? The point is she said she saw you upstairs in the dormitory with Snivellus earlier today!"

Her heart beat quickening, she stood there in disbelief. How had someone seen them? She had been sure that everyone was busy out in the grounds, enjoying the weather. How foolish! "I don't know what you're talking about," she said simply.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about-"

"Don't speak to me like that," she hissed. "So what if I was up there with him earlier today? You and I don't have anything together anyway!"

James' eyes widened and he grabbed her wrist, and she tried to jerk away, but he gripped her more tightly. He moved his face in closer to hers and only looked at her a moment before chuckling, "Snivellus? You'd rather shag Snivellus? I suppose his skivvies stunk of rotten gnomes," he said, laughing loudly.

She jerked her arm away and then, smacked him across the face. He looked at her, aghast, before she stormed off upstairs.

"Feisty one isn't she?" said a voice from behind him.

James wheeled around to see Remus standing in the doorway, smirking.

"Shut up, Moony."

The next morning, Lily Evans was shocked to see that Severus wasn't at his normal spot on the Slytherin table. She wanted nothing more than to go down in the dungeons to find him, but she did not wonder the dungeons often, unless heading for Potions class. Lily ran frantically, not knowing what to do. She could not ask any of her friends, she doubted they would know, or even care. And she did not dare speak to any of the Slytherins.

Then suddenly, someone answered her questions.

"Did you hear? Severus Snape is in the hospital wing! I heard James Potter got detention with Slughorn for weeks!"

Her green eyes widened. He couldn't have possibly thrown him in the hospital wing. The thought was unbearable. Her insides searing with anger, she sprinted to the common room, practically ripping open the door to the boys common room, finding James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter sitting on one bed, looking at something.

"Mischief managed," James whispered before standing up with a rather large grin on his face. "Why good mor-"

He got no further, for Lily connected her fist with his nose, and he double over, screeching in pain. "What was that for?!"

"You know damn well what that was for!" She screamed, tears welling in her eyes, "He didn't do anything to you!"

"Wotcher James!" one of them yelled.

"He lived that's what-" but then, Lily had jumped on top of him throwing as many punches as she could and the other three had to pull her off before she knocked him unconscious.

"She's killed me! She's killed me!" James whined, squirming on the floor, grabbing at his face, his circular glasses astray on the floor.

Lily stepped on his glasses and they broke with a rather loud _crunch. _"You can repair those later."

She stormed out, racing to the hospital wing to find Severus. When she got there, she saw him in one of the beds in the far side of the room, sleeping. She walked up and took a seat next to him, grabbing a hold of his hand.

"Severus," she whispered, noticing the bandages on his chest. "Severus," she repeated.

His eyes flickered open and he jerked with surprise. He tried to lean up but she held up her hand and stopped him.

Lily bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead, "Are you alright?"

"Just brilliant," he said sarcastically. "When I get my hands on Potter…"

"Don't worry about it, love, he might be taking a trip up here himself."

"What d'you-"

But he was cut off, for she was right. The doors to the hospital wing busted open and Sirius Black walked in, walking James along at his side.

"Madame Pomfrey, Madame Pomfrey!" he called.

She came rushing out and gasped, "Right over here, right over here, what happened?"

"Oh, he fell… Got a couple of wounds on his face, I suspect," Sirius lied.

"Evans," James muttered as they laid him on the bed.

Severus sniggered, looking at Lily. She smiled down at him and gave his hand a squeeze. "Looks like I got away scot-free. I owe one to Sirius, though. But I ought to get going… You get out tomorrow?"

He nodded. He couldn't wait to get out so he could see her again. Severus look down at their conjoined hands and stroked his thumb over the top of her hand gently and looked up into her beautiful green eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The next day, Lily was there to escort Severus from the hospital wing bright and early. He was delighted to know that she hadn't forgotten him. They walked along the corridors and we're laughing at the incident that had occurred the day before.

"So you jumped on top of him?" Severus asked, laughing louder than he had before in a very long time. "That's classic!"

Lily nodded in agreement, "it was, I wish you would've seen, Sev… You would've been proud," she said with a small smile.

They stopped and he smiled back. He opened his mouth, "D'you…" he pondered, "D'you want to come down to the Slytherin common room with me?"

Grinning, she nodded and followed him back down to the dungeons. They were dark and dreary as usual and Lily couldn't help but notice the few passing Slytherins giving her evil looks. When they went to enter the common room, a nearby portrait hissed, "Mudblood! Mudblood in the common room!"

"Shut it," Severus snarled, cautiously taking Lily by the hand and leading her in. He had not expected anyone else to be in the boy's dormitory, but there indeed was. A tall, light haired boy who he had not been very familiar with sneered.

"Evans, the mudblood? What are you doing with her?"

"Shove off, I've had enough with your lot today," he said in a rather calm tone, which was unusual. He led Lily to a back room and shut the door and locked it. "Everything will be fine, we can hang out here."

She smiled, which gave him a bit of courage and she sat in a nearby arm chair.

"So," he asked, sitting in the chair next to her, "What about yours and Potters' relationship?" he asked, as his eye began to twinge a bit at the thought of his worst enemy dating Lily.

Lily sighed, resting her head in her hands, "I ended it last night," she said. "But I don't regret it."

He was thankful that she had added that part, but before he knew it, he had kneeled down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, giving her an encouraging shake. "It'll be alright, you know that."

"As long as you're with me, it will be," she blurted out. She turned a bright pink after she said it.

Severus licked his lips and opened his mouth to speak, but found no words. They both took a seat on the nearby sofa, and he found that his heart started pounding faster due to the closeness between him and Lily.

Lily shifted a bit and turned to look at him, he neck craning to get a good look at his entire face. "You're more beautiful than you think, Sev…"

He felt his cheeks turn hot at this compliment, "Lily… I don't deserve your kind words. I'm a dark man, and you… you're a beautiful young woman, bright and happy, with much love and potential in her soul. I don't even deserve you. I don't think anyone in this school deserves what you have to offer. The way you walk, the way your hair sways-" he had realized he had said a lot more than he intended.

Her eyes began to glisten with small tears, and before Severus could say anything, she leaned in to kiss him and he happily accepted. Once again, they were in the same position they had been the other day, body parts entwined and their kissing passionate.

He could not think, he could not move, he was pressed up against his love; he was closer to her than anyone else had ever been. Severus let his hand slide down the curves of her body as he gently bit her lower lip, moaning softly as she began to massage his rather hard center.

The material between his trousers and her hand were quite annoying. He fell back, letting her lay on top off him as he began to undo his pants. She slipped her hand down and grasped him firmly as he let out a deep, pleasured moan.

Severus turned his head, letting her suck on his neck as she began to stroke his member firmly. He looked at her once more before sliding his hands down her soft abdomen and pulling down her panties with his thumbs.

He let his hand slip down and over her wetness slowly, and she seemed to like this, for she let out a long moan and slipped her hand off of Severus.

Lily leaned down and pressed against them, both of them now without pants, and Severus squeezed his eyes shut when he felt himself rub against her thigh.

She whispered quietly in his ear, "I want you to take me."

His knuckles clenched the back of her shirt tightly and turned to look at her, and he kissed her deepy, his tongue wandering in her mouth. He pulled off and looked her straight in the eye. "Are you sure?"

In response, she flipped over onto the bottom and pulled him on top of her. He held himself up with his arms on either side of her head and looked down at her.

When she nodded, he slowly pressed himself in side of her and watched as she squirmed in pain. "A-are you a-alright?"

She nodded slowly and he began to move carefully, and eventually he felt her tighten around him and he began to moan, his insides craving for more. She grabbed his shirt with a firm grasp.

"Please, more, I'm ready," she groaned, pulling him toward her for another kiss.

He obeyed, and began moving rather steadily, moaning quietly to avoid anyone knocking at the door, for he had forgotten to charm it, to stop anyone from hearing.

For several minutes they moaned each others names, moving quickly and he began to feel his climax coming, and she was already shaking beneath him. He did not want to spill inside of her, but had no choice, for before he could even think of pulling out, his seed poured in her and she almost screamed, but Severus covered her mouth quickly.

He turned her over on top of him and she collapsed as he slipped of her. She kissed him rather roughly, and noticed that he still had an slight erection.

Lily's eyebrows perked up and she smirked at him.

"Heh," Severus said nervously, but the next thing he knew she was once more sucking him slowly and he bucked his hips almost wildly, surprised that she did not gag.

"Lily…" he panted, clutching her hand almost violently. "Lily, I love you!"

She did not stop; she continued to suck him, so hard, so fast, that Severus thought he might explode from such pleasure.

He began bucking his hips so hard that he felt his member hit the back of her throat, but she still did not respond. And at long last, when Severus thought he might scream, he poured what he had left into her mouth and finally collapsed on top of him.

He kissed her gently, and a few times after that and she laughed.

"You don't mind kissing me after that?"

He shook his head, "I don't care," and craned his head so that he could kiss her more.

"You're amazing, Lily. Absolutely amazing…"

"I love you too, Severus Snape. Always," she said.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

For the next few weeks, Severus and Lily spent a lot of time together. They wandered the halls, James snarling and cursing at them every chance he could get, but for some time, kept his distance. Christmas holidays we're drawing closer, and Severus dreaded staying there alone with no one to _really_ talk to. To be away from Lily was nothing he would've liked to think about.

"I'll see you when you get back I 'spose," Severus muttered, giving her a hug goodbye and she smiled softly, moving a piece of his black stringy hair away from his face.

"Goodbye, Sev," she said with another smile and turning away slowly.

Severus watched her leave until the very moment she was out of sight. The time there was surely not enjoyable, but before he knew it, dozens of students were re-entering the school, returning from Holidays. He rushed into the Great Hall to eat dinner, hoping to see his love.

"Evening, Snape," Avery said, as Snape plopped his belongings on the table and sat down across from him, "Good Holiday?"

Severus nodded, grinning to himself slightly as a plate of food appeared in front of him suddenly; after he finished eating he opened his spell books, quill, and parchment and began scribbling vigorously.

"Dark Arts, I reckon?" Avery asked his mouth full of food.

Severus looked up slowly, a strand of his black hair hanging over his crooked nose. He nodded and looked back down, his nose almost touching the parchment. Before he knew it, a hand grabbed the back of his robes and threw him backward against the wall.

"SNIVELLUS!" a familiar voice roared.

A sharp pain was soaring through his head and he stumbled to his feet, coming face to face with James Potter, who was breathing heavily.

James' grip tightened on Severus' robes as he pulled him closer, "You've been messing with Evans, eh?"

Severus turned his head. To his surprise, Lily was standing further back behind James, a few tears running down her cheeks. A pang of displeasure soared through his chest and he jerked, struggling to be released from his grip. His black eyes darted to look over at Avery, who hadn't even noticed what was going on. Like that git would even defend him, anyway. He shoved his hand in his pocket to pull out his wand, but realized it must've fallen out when he was thrown backward.

"So what if I have, Potter?" Severus said, trying to keep his voice steady and strong. "How would you know anyway? Unless…" he looked back at Lily, who was now sobbing. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" Severus roared, finally jerking away from Potter, using all the adrenaline that was pumping through his veins.

He darted over to grab his wand, but as soon as his long, pale fingers touched the side of his wand, he was thrown backward again, going unconscious for a moment but returning to his senses and scrambled up, panting, his wand now firmly in his hand.

"What've you done, Potter? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" Severus screamed. A few people were looking over now, but he did not care.

"Veritaserum," Sirius called, he appeared out from behind James, a wild smirk on his face, "Slipped a bit into Evans' pumpkin juice."

"Why you little-" but Severus was cut off, his was once more dangling in the air, loathing becoming his only emotion as several extras began to laugh. He looked at Lily once more but she did nothing. But it did not faze him; he apparently was nothing to her, nothing.

"See you around, Snivellus," James said, laughing. With a flick of his wand, Severus was thrown onto the floor. He grabbed Lily's hand and walked off, laughing obnoxiously, as he always did.

Severus scrambled up, picking up his books. How he loathed Potter and his friends, he wanted nothing more than to make him suffer, make him cringe and squirm in pain on the floor. He wanted nothing more than to make Potter miserable for taking his one and only love. He wanted to overpower his enemy, make him beg for mercy. Severus sighed deeply and gathered his things from the table and stormed out of the Great Hall.

He walked quickly along a deserted corridor, thinking. _Why does Potter always have to ruin everything? I thought Lily had forgiven me, I thought she would stick up for me again, like she used to. You shouldn't have pushed your chances, Snape. She used you, teased you. Filthy little whore- no… she's not. She's my friend… Isn't she?_

Severus shook his head, hoping to rid of these thoughts. They were invading his mind, taking him in as a whole. When he came back to his senses, he didn't even know where he had taken himself. He jumped when he heard a voice behind him call his name. He did not turn when he felt a gentle hand be placed on his shoulder. The hand felt familiar, and he jerked away.

Lily Evans walked around to face him, her eyes still glazed with tears. "Severus-"

He shook his head, "Don't."

"Severus listen-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" His voice echoed throughout the corridor.

She stopped, her mouth hanging open slightly. She lowered her hand slowly, letting it fall by her side. Lily had not expected that he would ever yell at her like that. She took one step back and examined his features. He was breathing heavily, his school books clutched in his hands. "Severus I-" she held up a hand, "No listen to me, I didn't mean to say anything. It wasn't my fault, you know? But James I realized he's not so bad…"

"NOT SO BAD?!" he screeched, throwing his books down, "NOT SO BAD!? DON'T YOU SEE HOW HE TORTURES ME!?"

A tear streamed down her face, but he did not seem to care.

"FOR YEARS HE'S TORTURE ME! FOR YEARS, EVANS! AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL HIM, YOU KNOW THAT? KILL HIM! BETTER YET, TORTURE HIM! MAKE HIM BEG FOR MERCY! AND YOU THINK… HE'S NOT THAT BAD!?" He was breathing quickly now, his insides fuming.

"Severus stop!" she yelled, sobbing now. "Severus, you're my friend, but we're going different ways… I don't like who you hang out with. Your interests in the Dark Arts is not good for you, Sev-" 

"Don't… Call me Sev anymore," he said, picking up his books and storming off.

And Lily thought, before he turned away, she saw a tear fall from his face.

For the next few weeks, Severus kept as far away from Lily as he could. He felt as if some sort of Shielding Charm had been cast between them, but he kept it that way. He sometimes watched her as he peered over the top of his book as he sat beneath a tree in the grounds. She was always with Potter, sometimes holding his hand, which made Severus wince with extreme hatred. But he shook his head; she was not worth it anymore. No matter how much he loved her, how much he wanted everything to be alright, he could not come crawling back to her now. It was unimaginable, not even thought of. Severus could not bear to think of it.

Every now and then he thought he caught Lily looking at him from the corner of his eye. But before he could turn the direction of his sight to make sure, she was dragged off by Potter and his friends. But the good thing was, James being so occupied with his new girlfriend, he had been to busy to even think about torturing him.

He flipped through a few pieces of his parchment, looking for a piece to jot some notes down on. A half sheet slipped away from him and as he reached to grab it, he noticed familiar hand writing on the front.

It read, "_Because of you, our connection has been severed…"_

Severus seized it quickly and looked at it closely, examining every letter.

Because of you, our connection has been severed.

And it was true.

He stuffed the half piece of parchment into his copy of _Advanced Potion Making_ and slammed it shut. He got to his feet and dashed off across the grounds, making his way towards the castle. Stopping suddenly, he looked around frantically for Lily, and finally saw a slender girl with thick, red hair standing by the Great Lake.

He ran over and stopped behind her, trying to move in quickly, but a twig snapped beneath his foot. He froze abruptly in his spot and she turned to look at him. Severus straightened up and cleared his throat, "Hello."

"Hi," she said gently, chucking a pebble into the water and watching it skip across, leaving a few ripples in the water, but they disappeared slowly.

"Doing well?" He asked awkwardly, sitting down nearby.

She nodded.

"I…" he didn't know where to start. "Well I… I found your letter."

Lily turned to look at him slowly, her beautiful emerald eyes examining his features. She nodded, "I see."

Her voice was surprisingly soft, she looked like she had been crying.

He stood once more, and moved to be next to her. He only stared at her for a moment, and she stared back. If he hadn't felt so awkward, he would have figured this would've been the perfect moment to kiss her. If only he could… If only… Severus cleared his throat once more, "You and uh… Potter alright?" 

She shrugged, turning to look back at the water once more. "I suppose… A lot of other girls tend to follow him around and flirt with him quite often…"

"Oh," Severus said, moving a strand of his hair out of his face. "Well I just thought… I just thought I'd say hello. I guess I'd better be going."

"Yeah I suppose so," she agreed, and he was surprised.

"See you," he said, hurrying off and walking back slowly towards Hogwarts.

That night he did not sleep very well. He tossed and turned, visions and dreams of a strange hooded figure looming toward him haunting him throughout the night. He looked around and saw that he was standing inside a dark, empty, room, thousands of crystal balls standing innocently around him. Severus turned to look at one of them, but felt something move on his left forearm. He looked down and pulled up his sleeve. Instead of seeing scarlet welts and bruises, he saw the mark… The mark. It moved slowly, moving in slowly towards his face…

Severus leaned straight up in bed, panting heavily, and sweat pouring from his face. He looked around. He was lying in his four-poster, staring at the other boys who were sound asleep. It was surprising to him that he had actually rested for a few hours. But it was no use trying to lie back down. He got out of bed slowly, his pajama pants riding up slightly, revealing his legs.

"Ugh," he scoffed, pulling down the parts of the pajamas that had ridden up. Severus wiggled his bare toes and looked up, and picked up his wand before walking out of the dormitory quietly. Walking along the corridors, he kept his wand lit and many portraits complained.

"Can't you see we're sleeping, you bloody fool?" One of them called and Severus ignored it. He continued to walk, not knowing where his destination was. He kept walking before he found himself staring out of a stained window at the moon. It seemed brighter than ever, the stars dancing around it.

"_Nox_," he muttered, and the light at the tip of his wand went out. The light from the moon was enough to shine upon him so that he could see himself. He looked down and then looked away.

"Not good enough for her," he said aloud to himself. And he knew it was true, Lily Evans would always belong to James Potter. But he knew deep down, he would never accept that.

Never.


End file.
